The Ballad of the Craft-Impaired Mom

What do the children of craft-impaired mommies do? They hatch their own weird ideas - like this "let's smear shaving cream around on a box in the kitchen" favorite. It won't get our family on a magazine, but the girls enjoy it.

What do the children of craft-impaired mommies do? Out of sheer boredom, they hatch their own weird ideas – like this “let’s smear shaving cream around on a box in the kitchen” favorite.

Hopefully I’m not the only mom out there whose kid gets a cake pop kit and – though absolutely zero baking is involved – ends up with the mix bleeding out the sides of the lime green plastic, thereby leaving you with messy, shapeless cake blobs that aren’t worth refrigerating. (After some time passes, you quietly throw the plastic pieces into the recycling bin and pretend the whole thing just never happened.)

Or maybe your daughter gets a Rainbow Loom, and you stare at the directions, thinking to yourself, “I have two graduate degrees, and while they’re not in astrophysics, I should still be able to untangle instructions for making a bracelet made from tiny rubber loops. Right?! I mean, shouldn’t I?” (Yes, I eventually figured those out, but it took several attempts to “crack the code.”)

And yes, I’m one of those moms who, when Lily unwraps a Hanukkah gift only to find a knitting kit, I drop a very quiet F-bomb and break out in anticipatory flop sweat.

Let’s just say that a pattern has been established. Continue reading

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